Do You React or Do You Respond?

reacting versus responding

Do you react or do you respond?

Reaction may be by reflex and could be spontaneous but a response should be a well thought expression or action.
Panic may be a reaction to certain circumstances but caution and vigilance could be the response.
Our reactions may contradict our ideals but we must learn to take responsibility and respond appropriately.
I have caught myself being rude or inconsiderate in situations where I am in a huge hurry. I try not to defend my actions. I rather apologise for my rashness and express my gratitude where I failed to.
I have witnessed people scream in fright only to realize that there was no danger. That’s a perfect example of a reaction. If I catch myself in their shoes, I would express the fact that it was spontaneous and apologize for the scene I may have created. I would make extra effort to ensure that similar circumstances would not trigger the same unwanted expression.
We have relationships where we expect our partners to understand our reactions, where as, often times; they don’t.
We have taken certain decisions at certain times, in response to certain things that happened, without communicating our reason effectively to other parties involved.
The beauty of relationship is communication.
Don’t make an assumption that he knows you are hot tempered; apologise to him.
Don’t assume that she would understand that you were in a hurry; let her know that she deserves your attention.
Don’t tell yourself that it has passed and you should move ahead; the same pattern may become a habit.
Make effort to refer to the flawed reaction and respond appropriately.
Do the right thing and keep doing it because practice makes perfect.
Keep responding appropriately until your ideal response becomes your natural reflex reaction.

See similar thoughts below:


Plan to Respond Not React

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Be Ready For The New Year

be bold, be free, happy new year

One day; while still living with my dad in Enugu, I had the wedding of a bosom friend to attend on a Saturday morning in PortHarcourt.
It was the last Saturday of the month which had 7am to 10am dedicated to a cleanup exercise prohibiting movement during those stipulated hours.
Terrorism and accidents were in vogue at the time.
Daddy insisted that I should not make the trip because he could neither provide transportation nor security and I was resorting to go by public transport.
He did not want me to be exposed to the risk of encountering danger.
My mind was made up and all I needed was to convince him logically while I should dare.
The facts were clear and all I could do for a while was stare.
Finally I realized that my point was glaring but though.
I was about trading living with the fear of dying; then I spoke up.
I said; sharing this special moment with my friend means so much to me that depriving myself the privilege will simply be depriving myself some of the essence of living.
I added; it is better I die attempting to get fulfillment than live avoiding the challenges that stand in the way.
The words were so strong and seemed to have fitted a military procession better than a request for permission to make a trip to attend a wedding.
Of course my request was granted without hesitation.
I made the trip and even though I arrived very late because I had to take off after the cleanup exercise; I had the fun of my life and my presence was much appreciated.
Years have passed and dad has passed on, yet I realize that we are often faced with situations that demand us to trade our living with the fear of death.
It is a new year and we have to be ready.
We cannot continue doing the same things the same way and keep expecting different results.
We do or do not do certain things out of fear of failure.
It is a mindset.
We must have the right mindset to be ready for the new year.
It is not about the things that we have adopted in our new year resolution; it is about the paradigm shift that will truly make a difference.
One thing must kill a man but what legacy does he leave behind?
Everybody will die someday but at the end would it be that we succeeded in avoiding the threats that could annihilate us or that we stood by what we believed and did the things that we ought to do?
Love generously.
Protect the lives of your fellow human beings.
Be bold and courageous.
Be free.
That is simply what it takes to be ready for the new year.
Happy New Year!

Nnamonu Tochukwu
Be Ready for the New Year.

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Separate Yourself From The Crowd

the path to success

The time has come to start separating yourself from the crowd.
If everybody was like everyone else, there wouldn’t be great innovations to enjoy.
The music we listen to, the movies we watch, the vehicles we admire, the gadgets we enjoy, the stories we read and all the lovely things that make life tick, were pieced together by individuals like you and I, who distinguished themselves by committing to unique tasks that make a difference.
You are unique and you have all it takes to standout.
You don’t have to insist on trends because all your friends have subscribed.
You don’t have to cluster in the mall because everyone else does that.
Why do we flood the schools and end up loosing creativity?
Why do we all have jobs and are broke the bulk of the time?
We may feel that we belong, simply because we get along with the trends but life is not just about belonging.
Every early morning; workers crowd the staff bus while students crowd the school bus and it never ends.
Are you interested in quantity or in quality?
You have so much inside of you that can make people yearn for you.
You have enough within you to keep you both entertained and provided for.
Why suffer from boredom when you are gifted with creativity?
Why seek solace in rowdiness when solitude can suffice?
“come out from among them and be ye separate”.
It is time to say to yourself;
“He that is in me is greater than he that is in the world”.
The treasure we seek far away are within our reach.
Don’t despise what you have in a bid to seek what you want; you might end up loosing both.
Groom what you already have and grow it.
You can only gather much by ensuring that non is lost.
If drops of water can make a mighty ocean and the journey of a thousand miles can begin with a step, then we must value every moment, every talent and every person that life has brought our way.
I would cherish a walk with my loved one over a ride with the crowd.
I will relish the moments in my closet that prepares me for the stage over the ones that perpetually leaves me as a spectator with the crowd.

It is not easy to standout; that’s how difficult it is to be yourself.

The path to the top might just be lonely, simply because it is not often trod.

“The path often trod not always the route to success”

Separate Yourself From The Crowd
Nnamonu Tochukwu

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Every Moment Is A Building Block For Your Dream Life

Are you really free to live your dream life?

If life is only lived once, I don’t think it would be smart to gamble with it or to leave everything completely to chance. Each moment must be spent either enjoying the things that give us fulfilment or creating the path that will convey us to perpetual fulfilment.
If in our life time, we can do the things we like, buy the things we want and stay in places that we enjoy with the people that we love, how much happier and more fulfilled would we be than we are right now?
You are unique!
Your dreams may be different from mine.
What everyone else aspires for may not be appealing to me. That’s why when we say; do the right thing at the right time, it may just mean different things to different people.
It may be tough to convince the world that you are different but that’s not your job to do. Just be yourself and they will see for themselves.
Rather than spend time arguing or feeling hurt that your ideas are not as appreciated as you imagined they would be, concentrate on refining them for the few that appreciate and creating an environment where truth will be upheld with freedom and love.
It is easier for the world to convince us that we are just like everyone else, than to further confuse us with difference in skin colours and languages, creating the impression that we have to struggle to be noticed or to compete to be distinguished.
We must not make the mistake of spending our lives competing with others, we must rather collaborate to enjoy the life of our dreams.
When we can be there for each other, we can indeed live our dream life!

Nnamonu Tochukwu
Every Moment Is A Building Block For Your Dream Life.

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Discipline; a prerequisite for success

discipline; a prerequisite for success

Discipline is often associated with reproof, correction, strictness and similar things.
Though discipline may encompass these, discipline represents much more.
Discipline involves decisiveness, consistency, concentration, practice, study, focus and all that is directed towards conceptualising, planning, executing and evaluating processes with the aim of achieving set objectives.

Discipline is also considered as a field of study or area of expertise, just like what departments or faculties represent in schools.

Personally, I consider discipline as a prerequisite for success because more often than not, success is not stumbled upon. Success is often painstakingly built and that is where discipline comes in.

Do not take painstakingly to mean suffering, just as I do not expect you to take discipline to mean punishment. Rather, let us relate both painstakingly and discipline to the conscious, meticulous process of building.

No state of the art magnificent building was built without a plan. Likewise huge success often rests on the foundation of excellent designs and proper execution.

Even when certain successes are attributed to luck or fortune, we can also relate with the fact that luck happens when opportunity meets preparedness.

To be prepared is to be disciplined.

To be disciplined is to consciously and consistently be at the right place at the right time, doing the right things that will get you the desired results. This will not be completely possible without eliminating distractions which will equally not be possible without first prioritising.

If you are interested in success, you should desire discipline.

Have you ever wondered why the artist could spend hours on a piece and be unmoved or why the instrumentalists are never tired of their instruments? It’s discipline.

When you love what you do and do what you love, you invariably build discipline.

It is time to start loving the things that will add value to our lives and to start giving them the attention they deserve. By so doing, you will discover that discipline is lovely and that it pays to painstakingly build for success.

I hope you now see discipline in a new light?

Nnamonu Tochukwu.
Discipline; a prerequisite for success

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Should I or Should I Not?

undecided voter concept

Should I or Should I Not?

What exactly is the right thing to do when faced with a situation that gives us reason to be uncertain about the decision to take?

Are you expecting me to answer the question for you?

Are you sure that I am not equally trying to find out what the right answer should be for myself too?

Well, I would be glad if you ponder along with me.

Why should I go ahead, when my action will deprive some others of their due rights and privileges?

Why should I go ahead if I would most probably blame another for the consequences?

Why should I go ahead, when in all fairness; it would be considered inconsiderate by stakeholders?

Most people seem not to mind, as long as it will fetch them more money. Why should I be like them?

Some others will not mind to take the share of another, simply because they can. Why should I be like them?

Someone once said to me; “there is love in sharing”, only to eat up all the food in my plate and leave me hungry.

Life is not really about you alone; you only live it through your own body.

In as much as you might desire to distinguish yourself, don’t adapt the approach of trampling upon others to climb to your desired heights.

In my opinion; collaboration far supersedes competition.

If I must choose whether I should or whether I should not, then I must consider how it will also affect those around me.

It is important that I do all that I can to make the world a better place for myself and for others in it.

So what is Next?


Nnamonu Tochukwu.


Should I or Should I Not?

I hope you pondered too.


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Pushing Through

Sometimes we consider certain things worth doing, we resolve to do them, we imagine reaping the dividends of doing them, we keep going about our usual business with the anticipation that we will soon be done doing them, only to realise that days, weeks, months or even years have passed and we never got around to do them.

Could this be true with you?

Can you remember anything you still have not pushed yourself to finish even though you considered it to be worth doing?

Trust me, you are not alone in this. But that should not be your consolation; if you do not take responsibility of the situation, you will keep hovering around the same spot. Certain things cannot be accomplished without consciously pushing through.

Probably you do not consider the implications of not doing them to be life threatening. Maybe you do not imagine yourself to be in a big mess; having numerous tasks unattended or a pile of dreams unaccomplished.

Could it be because there is nobody on your neck demanding that you deliver?

Is it because it is your own thought or idea and nobody else knows about it?

Assuming that it was someone else that paid you to do exactly the same thing, would you have lingered this long without delivering?

The truth is that great things are never accomplished without a conscious effort to forfeit trivial things. There must be some pushing through.

Everyday comprises of 24 hours and it is from it that we must carve out the time to contribute positively to all that matters to us.

You will definitely need to make some adjustment to your routine before certain things can be accomplished. Either you borrow some time from a less important activity or you completely eliminate time wasters. You can also consider aligning with people who will contribute positively either by moral support or collaboration.

Successful ventures are painstakingly built. You must make a conscious effort to carve out time and breakout from certain routine to exercise yourself in the direction that will bring you accomplishment and fulfilment. That’s what I call; pushing through.

So what has kept you from exploring that idea?

What has prevented you from taking the necessary action?

What will stop you from taking that trip today?

Why wouldn’t you just place that call right away?

Wouldn’t you sit by your table and clear the backlog immediately?

I think you should push until life becomes as beautiful as it can be for you and for everyone.

If it will give you joy and make life better for others then go ahead and do it.

I know you can do it.

Just do it!
Nnamonu Tochukwu.


Pushing Through.

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In The Face of Challenges

When faced with difficult situations or what we consider huge challenges, our disposition towards it determines how we will fare.

Attitude, they say; is everything.

There is the popular story of a nation that arrived enemy territory by sea and in order to ensure that going back is not an option, they burned their ships and engaged into battle. In this case all that was on their mind was win or die.

This little scenario has made me realize that the reason we often give up it that we have other alternatives. Because we embark on tasks that may not directly be saving us from direct death, we approach them with the mind set that even if we don’t succeed, there’s no big deal.

Can we change that?

Can we tell ourselves that since we accepted to do it, then do it we must.

Can we stand by our word and irrespective of the obstacles in our way be determined to deliver?

If making little adjustments will make all the difference, why not make the adjustments today?

If giving it some concentration for a long time is all that it will take, why not do that right away.

The true value of a thing is also determined by the opportunity cost which is the alternative forgone.

There will always be demands on our time, money, skills, tools, space and a lot more but in order to accomplish the set targets we must give priority to what matters most and do what must be done.

No retreat, no surrender! That’s the spirit that wins.

In the face of challenges; men ought always to pray and not give up.

My colleague in the office once told me that to work is to pray. When we do the necessary work that should bring us the solutions that we desire, our prayers will be heard.

Pray without seizing; work without relenting.

No retreat, no surrender!

Nnamonu Tochukwu


In The Face of Challenges.

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Happy Married Life Message To You; My Friend

My friend,
I put a call across to my mum to let her know that I will be stopping by to fix some things in the house. She was excited but mentioned that I might only be able to see her briefly as she is preparing to leave for your wedding.
I was surprised because I did not have the slightest clue that it was your wedding day but I was also excited because it also happened to be your special day.
I did all I could to finish up the task I had at home but I could not finish early enough to meet up with your wedding so I sent my regards through my mum.
Because you mean so much to me, I have not relented from wishing you a happy married life.

Happy Married Life Message
“Two are better than One because they have a good reward for their labour”
May your union launch you into greater heights of relevance and productivity.
May new opportunities spring up as a result of this new relationship that has introduced you into a married life.
May all the blessings that you desire be yours and may all the good things of life be abundant in your new family.
If One will chase a Thousand and Two will chase Ten Thousand, I pray that you will multiply to chase millions.
Time may not permit me to pour out my heart neither may space accommodate my wishes for you but be rest assured that you have my best wishes in your marriage.
Love will bind you Two as One.
Understanding will keep the Bond forever.
Settle your differences among yourselves and support your dreams and ambitions without washing dirty linens outside.
I will gladly celebrate more occasions with you.
Happy Married Life!

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You Stand Out; Happy Valentine’s Day


“In the world;
-there are people.
-there are relatives.
-there are acquaintances.
-there are friends.
-there’s family.
-there are loved ones.
And; there is YOU!

You Stand Out; Happy Valentine’s Day

Among all that exist, certain people are special gifts that give our lives a meaning.
No wonder someone asks; what can I do without you?
For me, everyday is a special day but I always love to take advantage of strategic days to express my self.
I would want you to know that whether or not I say it; you mean so much to me.
Among all that makes me tick; you stand out.
Happy Valentine’s Day!

Nnamonu Tochukwu.
You Stand Out; ☆Happy☆ ♡Valentine’s♡ ☆Day☆

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