Life: Resolving Conflicts and Arguments

What do you do when you are faced with either an argument or a conflict to resolve?
I am of the opinion that a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.
Arguments don’t necessarily convince, results do.
Conflicts often arise when opinions differ.
Very often, we expect our opinions to be followed, without verifying whether they resonate with those of the other parties involved.
Arguing your case may arouse curiosity and eventually reveal the facts, but producing results in accordance with your perspective would often distinguish you and attract people to seek your opinion.
Arguments are often encountered and so are conflicts, but with wisdom and patience, they can be resolved.
I personally avoid arguments, but I often enjoy taking note of the various perspectives that people are emotionally glued to.
I love to observe arguments without getting emotionally involved in them.
I also try to painstakingly clarify issues, whenever I notice a conflict of ideas or procedure.
Understanding reduces conflicts and arguments.
The reason is simple; many people learn things by stipulated procedure, meanwhile, the same things that were learned, could be handled differently.
For example, a colleague of mine learned to type in usernames in capital letters, meanwhile, I understood that usernames were not case sensitive. Very often, she would argue with me that her username had to be typed in Caps Lock and I would proceed with her opinion to avoid delays.
On a certain day that there was no emergency, I typed in her username on lowercase and told her to type in her password without changing to uppercase.
She did, and to her greatest surprise, she was granted access to the platform that we wanted to to use.
Being open minded makes life a lot easier.
Being free to experiment opinions, is also one beautiful way of learning, as well as winning the approval of other people.
Resisting people’s opinions or sticking rigidly to your own is very likely to create a wrong impression or to stir up strife.
Conflicts are very much reduced when we accomodate the opinions of one another.
Arguments are reduced when we experiment or test the various conflicting opinions.

Daily Prompt: Conflicted; suggested this:

You’re in the middle of a terrible argument, and everyone turns to you to help resolve it. How do you respond? How do you react to conflict?
Photographers, artists, poets: show us a CONFLICT.

Ofcourse, I will do my best to ensure that I don’t make anybody appear stupid.
Arguments may be really stupid sometimes.
Another fact about opinions is that whatever a person believes to be true, becomes true for him/her.
No matter what you tell a person, the person’s conviction may not shift until there are tangible facts to either prove or disprove the opinion.
As a result, the first thing I do when invited to resolve an argument is to take a neutral stand.
I do so by asking a few questions that will convince the parties that I am trying to do a thorough analysis without bias.
I keep asking question until I am sure that I have a clear picture of the subject of argument.
Very often, the entire subject may seem childish to me and may be obviously not worth the time, but I still wouldn’t express that opinion in a hurry.
With a clear picture of the entire concept, I try to simplify the concept by breaking it down into easily comprehensible illustrations.
I paint new scenarios, narrate new stories, get the parties involved through imagination or attached emotionally through sentiments.
I eventually find a way to justify everybody’s opinion, before allowing everybody conclude on what opinion to settle for.
Very often, the exercise gets everyone laughing because everybody realises that they were simply describing different sides of the same coin.
How often have you found yourself searching for something that has been in your hand all along?
That’s the very same feeling you’ll have when you catch yourself arguing with someone that has the same opinion with you, but is only on another page.
There are often arguments that may end up being based on preferences and not facts. Such can be picked up from the onset and tactfully resolved.
How do you react to conflict?
Turning deaf ears to people’s opinions is one major source of conflict.
Being sensitive to opinions, is one preventive measure that keeps arguments and conflicts away.
The moment I sense a difference in opinion, I try to listen without interfering.
Once I have gathered enough facts to be certain of the basis of such opinion, I go ahead to compare and contrast the options at hand.
Creatively analysing all the alternatives always gives a much broader view.
It takes one who is willing to observe and analyse various alternatives, without discarding any as stupid, to manage conflicting ideas.
Clarifications can be made by simplification, comparing and contrasting.
Everyone who is carried along will be able to identify superior opinions and accept them without feeling hurt, if their own perspectives were equally put into consideration.
Humans are emotional beings as well as rational beings.
In handling differences we must not neglect either of those aspects.
Sometimes we could be more emotional than we are rational and that is one factor that can ruin the authenticity of the results of an argument.
Arguments must bring clarity.
Conflicts can only be resolved by transparency, simplicity and a willingness to either accept or let go of certain things.
Our responses to conflicts and arguments determine whether or not there will be a headway through them.
What’s the point arguing when there are other ways to prove points?
What’s the need for a conflict, when there are alternatives that can produce the desired results without involving all the parties concerned.
Life is not a constant. The only constant thing in life is change. As a result, those that go ahead are those that don’t cling to physical things.
Principles govern the earth and they are glaring.
Nobody argues such facts as whatever goes up must surely come down. Gravity proves it.
When conflicts arise, apply the principles that reveals the results and the conclusion will be glaring to all concerned.
There’s no hard and fast rule in life.
Simply love.
There’s nothing much worth clinging to.
There’s neither need for an argument nor a conflict, but when they crop up, we must masterfully resolve them.

Nnamonu Tochukwu.
Teecee.
Life: Resolving Conflicts and Arguments

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About teeceecounsel

Who am I really? Can that be defined yet? Probably by the time I'm long gone and all the pieces of my activities are compiled and analysed then you can know what you want to know about me. Meanwhile, I write. Not because I love writing but because I love people. I love to care and love to share. I'm a deep thinker and I love to believe in the impossible. The ideal is attainable and a shot at it must be given. Don't say 'It won't work' rather ask 'how will it work? Nobody is ever doomed unless they made the choice. To resist good and to adopt evil is already doom. To loose hope is to choose doom but to believe that every step is a passing phase leading towards your hope is to choose progress. I may go on and on but my posts say it all. I don't force you to agree, I only say enjoy!
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14 Responses to Life: Resolving Conflicts and Arguments

  1. Pingback: Conflicted | Life as a country bumpkin...not a city girl

  2. In my opinion, argument serves no purpose, it can polarize and lead to estrangements so unnecessary … that can last so long… unnecessarily. Healthy debate is always a good thing in my world. I like exchanges best when everybody gains something, even if only new knowledge to mull over or toss off. It’s all about the learning for me. Still learning as I grow πŸ˜‰ PS Thinking differently is not only allowed but encouraged. πŸ™‚

    • I very much agree with you. Arguments are completely unnecessary. They steal the time that should have been used to accomplish tangible things and dissipate the energy for productivity.
      Arguments stir emotions that may play out unfavourably.
      Healthy debates are better eye openers that bring various perspectives to view.
      They are more benefitial if the points are extracted and analysed for inference.
      Life is a process of learning and loving. To live is to learn and to love.
      The more we learn, the more we love and the happier we will be.
      Thanks much for stopping by. I personally enjoyed your perspective! πŸ™‚

      • So true about the learning, glad you enjoyed my blethers, lol. Keep on keeping on with the human relations, improving those in any way we can makes the world a better place instantly πŸ˜€ jmo

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  4. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Conflicted | Processing the life

  5. Pingback: Daily Prompt: Conflicted | Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss

  6. Son although you have made some good points, I’m going to respond with a Biblical focus and it will be long as detail is needed.

    It is very True Son, fleshy man or woman will reject what they don’t want to accept and their ego or fleshy pride will keep them steadfast. When God tells us something, we don’t decide our way is better and ignore Him, although if that is the way we want to go, then He lets us but it grieves Him to see us reap what we sow , yes Discipline is hard to endure for both involved but it is needed, if we are chastised and ignore it, then we will suffer if not now eternally.

    We see this with the Prodigal son, he wanted his own way and got it and in the end he suffered until he came to his senses and repented. We don’t argue with God, if He tells us to do something we do it and the same when He tells us not to something and He does not have to convince us or prove to us His way is best, why because He knows what is best for us, we can be deceived. Submission my be hard but disobedience is harder to endure in the end.

    John 12:25-27 He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal. If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour.

    God tells us not to argue with each other or to even agree to disagree, which in the end only brings division because as you said….. a man/ woman convinced against their will is of the same opinion still, but they are the ones in error not God, this is why we have so many Denominations , House Churches, Cults etc Paul warned against it , he said who are you following man or God.

    There will be differences in the Church and God recognizes this, He tells us to bring them to Him and He will show us who is in error but those who are worldly will reject His Truth the same as they reject Him in their hearts.

    Although when His Truth is shared with the confirmation of Scripture, then yes it is the readers choice to choose to accept and obey His words or reject them, we can read about those who made either one or the other of these choices in the Bible and the end results .

    Look at Adam and Eve they got their way and look at the suffering in the world today.

    So does God choose those who others will look up to as worthy of obedience, to do His work, do they have to be highly educated or people with worldly honors, titles and positions and prove they are acceptable first, are they people who have everything going for them and always seem to have everything good in life …..

    1 Corinthians 1:25-31 Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in His presence. But of Him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: That, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.

    God said it! we believe it and That settles it! but what if we don’t want to believe or accept it….. then He gives us the choice who we will follow, Him or Satan.

    Joshua 24: 14-16 Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve Him in sincerity and in Truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the Lord. And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. And the people answered and said, God forbid that we should forsake the Lord, to serve other gods;

    Christian Love from both of us – Grannie Annie

  7. Thank you Son although you have made some good points, I’m going to respond with a Biblical focus and it will be long as detail is needed.

    It is very True Son, fleshy man or woman will reject what they don’t want to accept and their ego or fleshy pride will keep them steadfast. When God tells us something, we don’t decide our way is better and ignore Him, although if that is the way we want to go, then He lets us but it grieves Him to see us reap what we sow , yes Discipline is hard to endure for both involved but it is needed, if we are chastised and ignore it, then we will suffer if not now eternally.

    We see this with the Prodigal son, he wanted his own way and got it and in the end he suffered until he came to his senses and repented. We don’t argue with God, if He tells us to do something we do it and the same when He tells us not to something and He does not have to convince us or prove to us His way is best, why because He knows what is best for us, we can be deceived. Submission my be hard but disobedience is harder to endure in the end.

    John 12:25-27 He that loveth his life shall lose it; and he that hateth his life in this world shall keep it unto life eternal. If any man serve me, let him follow me; and where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my Father honour.

    God tells us not to argue with each other or to even agree to disagree, which in the end only brings division because as you said….. a man/ woman convinced against their will is of the same opinion still, but they are the ones in error not God, this is why we have so many Denominations , House Churches, Cults etc Paul warned against it , he said who are you following man or God.

    There will be differences in the Church and God recognizes this, He tells us to bring them to Him and He will show us who is in error but those who are worldly will reject His Truth the same as they reject Him in their hearts.

    Although when His Truth is shared with the confirmation of Scripture, then yes it is the readers choice to choose to accept and obey His words or reject them, we can read about those who made either one or the other of these choices in the Bible and the end results .

    Look at Adam and Eve they got their way and look at the suffering in the world today.

    So does God choose those who others will look up to as worthy of obedience, to do His work, do they have to be highly educated or people with worldly honors, titles and positions and prove they are acceptable first, are they people who have everything going for them and always seem to have everything good in life …..

    1 Corinthians 1:25-31 Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in His presence. But of Him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: That, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.

    God said it! we believe it and That settles it! but what if we don’t want to believe or accept it….. then He gives us the choice who we will follow, Him or Satan.

    Joshua 24: 14-16 Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve Him in sincerity and in Truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the Lord. And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. And the people answered and said, God forbid that we should forsake the Lord, to serve other gods;

    Christian Love from both of us – Grannie Annie

    I posted this again Son to show you that someone is changing and deleting words when I Post, I’m taking a Screenshot to show WordPress, this was how I cut and pasted it , I tried a few times on your Blog but they would not Post but they may still appear they have before. I added the thank you in the beginning to stop duplication it is only one word this time but not always.

  8. You spoke beautifully what most of us can’t. Conflicts happen everyday and it’s really important to listen and find ways to resolve them that is that is based on common ground.

  9. As I said on the phone Son, I’m sorry for the added comments but not sure if you heard me I couldn’t hear you very well, words are being deleted when I post comments and Posts too. I have spoken to WordPress and sent Screenshots but will do so again, it’s seems to happen a lot on your blog, but it’s only a word here and there but it changes the meaning.

    But lets not argue about this error in commenting Son, or I may have to take your advice and prove I’m right and Wow imagine how many comments you will have then.

    Blessings, Grannie Annie, who always gets it right the first time, even if I’m the only one who knows it πŸ™„

  10. Pingback: Opinions not allowed! | Me 2.0 ~ My Journey from Codependency to Independent Living

  11. Pingback: How to win an argument | Life Change 90

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