Wise Counsel On relationships

Wise counsel on relationships simply refers to tips or good advice that provide guidance, assistance or direction towards attaining success in regards to relationships.
Man does not live in isolation, as a result, everyone is involved in one relationship or the other.
With recent trends, people often attribute the word “relationship” to mean an affair with the opposite sex or a romantic association.
Relationship is much broader than dating and courtship, because whether we like it or not, we must be involved in different ways with different people.
Relationships could be family, business, school, association, work, religion or concept oriented.
Some relationships spring up because the subjects have common goals, orientations or find themselves around the same location at the same time.
Relationships could also develop through online interaction, social network applications, synchronous and asynchronous interactions, the list goes on and on.
Relationships are established both consciously and unconsciously. Sometimes it starts from the fact that a face is familiar. At other times, it could just be that the name rings a bell. Some relationships are also established based on the fact that recommendations were made or that a particular person or range of people can attend to particular needs or issues of concern.
Whatever the case may be, some relationships are established from recognition, grows into communication or interaction and culminates into agreements.
Some others just happen or we just suddenly realise that a relationship exists.
I cannot remember being introduced to my father, for example, but I can remember meeting certain other people for the first time either in a classroom, in a bus or in some peculiar circumstance.
Now, whether relationships were struck up consciously or unconsciously, it is important to note that they are crucial to our existence.
The type of relationships we keep and the way we handle them, go a long way to determine the kind of people we end up becoming.
Very often, we get into relationships with expectaions that the people we are meeting will change us, transform us or eliminate our bad habits. It does not work that way most of the time, except we are willing to make adjustments by ourselves.
Our insecurities, fears, doubts, temper, laziness and the likes are often exposed or magnified when we encounter other people. That is why we must learn to face our issues and address them early enough in life so that we can become assets in relationships and not liabilities.
Certain colleagues, friends or relatives are very nervous under pressure. Some break down in tears while some get aggressive at everybody. Such outbursts are not good for relationships because they send wrong signals and create wrong impressions.
As much as possible, we should build ourselves to be stable, composed, creative and consistently productive.
Relationships connect us with other people but character determines whether or not relationships are sustained.
Have you developed your character to be as strong as that of the kind of person that you desire to connect with?
Are you cool with yourself or do you expect another person’s presence to solve the problems that you have lost hope with?
If you cannot accept yourself the way you are, how do you expect somebody else to accept you?
If you cannot excite yourself, motivate yourself, cheer yourself, how on earth do you think that your presence can do that for someone else?
Relationships are multi sided. It should be more of a give and take thing than a parasitic connection. Do you have a smile to offer? Do you have a nice word? Are you good company? These can make you an asset.
Everybody has something to offer, the reason many don’t realise it is that they compare themselves with others.
What effort have you made to be alone without being bored?
The first step I recommend for everyone who desires to succeed in relationships is to learn to be alone without being lonely.
If you can keep yourself gainfully and productively engaged all by yourself, you would most likely not have enough time to find faults in your companions when they take their eyes off you briefly.
Be cool with yourself.
If you always have the right word for yourself, you will discover that people would appreciate the words you drop for them.
Do you always bite at yourself or complain about your circumstances?
Take time out right now to appreciate the things you have that are just right, and begin to figure out positive solutions to the things that are yet to meet your ideal.
Almost everybody has a challenge or numerous challenges and that is why we must not add to people’s problems by being pessimistic and judgemental critics.
We should rather inspire people to succeed by succeeding ourselves.
We should encourage people to be cheerful by being cheerful ourselves.
I don’t recommend pretense in relationships because it will definitely backfire.
Lies never solve problems permanently, they only pile them up for a major disaster.
Build yourself, rather than create a false impression.
Become your best companion, that’s when your shoulder will be strong enough for someone else to lean on.
Don’t go looking for a mate when you cannot be cheerful with yourself, you’ll just be adding to the problems of someone else who needs some cheer too.
Are you seeking wise counsel on relationships? Relate well with yourself and everyone else would want to relate with you.
Become your own best friend and you will really be the best friend anybody can have.
Eliminate your own bad habits and everyone around you will be challenged to make a change.
Choose your words wisely and nobody will talk carelessly to you.
Become the standard that you desire in a relationship and you will enjoy the best relationships that you can ever desire.
You are the key to the success of your relationship.

Nnamonu Tochukwu.
Wise Counsel On relationships

About teeceecounsel

Who am I really? Can that be defined yet? Probably by the time I'm long gone and all the pieces of my activities are compiled and analysed then you can know what you want to know about me. Meanwhile, I write. Not because I love writing but because I love people. I love to care and love to share. I'm a deep thinker and I love to believe in the impossible. The ideal is attainable and a shot at it must be given. Don't say 'It won't work' rather ask 'how will it work? Nobody is ever doomed unless they made the choice. To resist good and to adopt evil is already doom. To loose hope is to choose doom but to believe that every step is a passing phase leading towards your hope is to choose progress. I may go on and on but my posts say it all. I don't force you to agree, I only say enjoy!
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22 Responses to Wise Counsel On relationships

  1. cobbies69 says:

    very wise words,, and heed them one should, my only concern after a relationship falls down, when one side is thinking and believing something that is not true or given a chance to be true or false.. However Teecee, a lovely read and very enlightening, it is a shame many do not actually do this.. honourably your friend.. πŸ˜‰

    • Thanks much, my honourable friend!
      I sincerely appreciate your encouraging words.
      It is important to maintain sincerity and integrity in relationships. We should learn to associate with people that we can safely trust and open up to. Relationships always fall apart when built on falsehood or deception.
      Beautiful comment, my consistent friend! πŸ™‚

      • cobbies69 says:

        I have a saying Teecee that as far as I know is my own, I said in conversation one day, and I thought and believe it to be true, ‘Pretending is hard while genuine is constant’ I think this speaks volumes..

      • I agree with your saying, my friend. Genuine is constant and appears effortless because it comes from a natural drive. Pretense comes with strenuous effort and would always be shortlived.
        Wise words there, my honourable friend!

  2. Hello Tee my friend,
    I take so much of what you shared, is definite wise counsel.
    Your ” Relationships are multi sided. It should be more of a give and take thing than a parasitic connection”…
    This I believe is just the counsel alone that enough would be such an amazing beginning to answer for our world and peaceful loving relationships

    I must have that reciprocal sharing if it is to be a significant relationship. It is the only way I will feel any close connection.
    If my heart is to be open and accepting to the wonder of a relationship I want to know I can expect the same in return.
    If I am safely in touch with feelings of another person, soul to my soul, there is to be nothing ventured by remaining shut down and closing off. Risking sharing what’s important instead enhances any relationship. Not leaving anything unsaid. .
    Recognizing the ‘other’ may feel the cost is too much and because there is history that I am not privy to I look to first try to establish a level of comfort & trust. If possible.
    If then the other in the ‘relationship’ cannot connect with me as an emotional investment it clearly tells me at what level our relationship is at to begin with. Maybe my expectations are different then theirs. That relationships can evolve is absolutely worth waiting to learn,
    If I should discover that there will not be that reciprocal sharing I feel myself start guarding my own feelings & thoughts. And to be real and honest with you Tee I am not proud of this but have learned that being emotionally available is a key factor for me in almost all relationships to some level. Except professionally speaking. .
    I like to hope that I am being open and emotionally available even with my blogging friends, like you. I admit it means at times being vulnerable, but so will there be times you will will share and be vulnerable, this wonderfully tells me how you trust and value that emotional connection.with me. This is being emotionally invested I think.

    Rock solid post my dear friend, you really make me think. A lot!
    I adore your shares for that reason as well.
    Thank you dear Tee ~

    • Your words speak volumes, my dear friend.
      It takes some degree of comfort or trust to open up to someone in any relationship, and opening up, like you pointed out, makes one vulnerable.
      I have always been of the opinion that it is only one, who is close enough to excite someone, that is equally close enough to hurt someone emotionally.
      In relationships, there is a beauty that attracts and there is also a beauty that retains.
      Eloquence, cheerfulness and excellence may attract, but it is openness, humility and the ability to share, that creates an atmosphere for trust and a long lasting relationship.
      Our ability to communicate our thoughts, intentions and feelings effectively would definitely make us more vulnerable if shared to the wrong person, but would build a stronger and more secure foundation with the right person.
      Intimacy in relationships simply comes from knowing each other very well.
      To enjoy stability in relationships, we must be trustworthy and share only with trustworthy people, as much as possible.
      “By their fruits, you shall know them”.
      There is no risk free venture in life, therefore, “they do not live, who do not dare”.
      I’m always excited to read the words you share, because in all sincerity, Toni, they resonate with me.
      Everybody loves it when their effort or input is reciprocated.
      Thanks for such an awesome response!

      • Tee you write with such wonder and create thought provoking ideas that often present a perspective I had not thought. I love your writing because of this.

        Absolutely do i agree with you that sharing a confidence(s) needs to be with trusted family & friends…not just anyone. Even with those we know & love us we are likely to feel vulnerable
        Also I agree that there are relationships which this kind of sharing would not be wise. Like all of us I am sure I have learned the hard way. Just as I might be cautious with who I left my confidences with for my family or friends (confidante) benefit. Some things could be a cross to bear Not all things being equal to be shared.
        From experience I find that it is those relationships where the trust and openness has been nurtured in both person’s (reciprocal) minds and hearts the real beauty is in sharing one’s thoughts, feelings, hopes,& dreams.
        These treasured relationships becoming something so valuable, priceless in fact I find myself feeling protective and consistently wanting to nurture them.

  3. “If you can keep yourself gainfully and productively engaged all by yourself, you would most likely not have enough time to find faults in your companions when they take their eyes off you briefly.” What a line! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us, I always leave your blog with a “full belly” every time I stop by πŸ™‚

    • I’m glad you found something worth appreciating. I really think we determine the way we feel by our focus. If we live examplary lives, we would be much happier. One who ties his/her happiness to what other people either do or do not do would most likely be constantly unhappy.
      Thanks for your encouraging words, I sincerely appreciate.

  4. Pingback: Sometimes Angels Sing.. | Lady Barefoot Baroness

  5. Thought so much about this post and about you Tee. I wanted you to know I linked this post and your blog in my last post.
    Thank you my dear friend ~

    • Wow! What an honour and a privilege! I so much appreciate. Thanks, Toni.

      • My Good friend, it is I who am honored always by your openness in not just what you share in your writing with me/us like you so warmly do. but that which you also share in interacting with your readers Quite like a good chat in person.
        There is a special genuine quality I think to friendships that are created out of such sharing.
        Thanks again so much for this friendship with you Tee. ~

      • What can I say, Toni?
        It takes a caring heart to recognise the efforts of others.
        It takes a generous heart to appreciate generousity.
        Those who gladly share are equally those who are grateful and excited when they recognise generousity.
        An unappreciative person is never satisfied, never content and never grateful.
        You have a caring heart; one that both recognises, appreciates and shares love.
        I am grateful for the words you’ve shared.
        They show the stuff you are made of.
        I’m always cheered by your words.
        Thank you.

  6. Oh my. Such a warm, straightforward post. We need to be reminded to be mindful sometimes.

  7. So right in every way. Change starts with us. We need to make an effort to make relationship works. Been married 11 years and for it to work, a two way of giving, receiving, understanding, patience and yes, loving is a must have. Thanks for a great post.

    • You are welcome, Island Traveler. It’s good to know that you appreciate the post. Thanks for also using your personal experience to point out the fact that relationships require sharing to blossom.
      I appreciate your words so much !

  8. Teecee, thank you so much for showing the way πŸ™‚

  9. Pingback: Relationships | mubiana

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