Short Fiction: Our Table and The Entrance

Our Table And The Entrance

What moment could ever be better than a round table session with straws in tumblers of chapman and the best of friends, in Chin Cherry Restraunt?
Our table was positioned at the far left of the entrance door, but between the entrance and the counter. I could describe the entrance door as being North-West (10:00) from our table and the counter as North-East (8:00), from the same table. Orders for food, snacks and drinks of all sorts were being made at the counter, while numerous beautiful round tables and fancy seats coloured the eating hall. I was sitted with two very cheerful and humorous young men who sounded as if the entire world hovered around them. I was on the side of the table that had a good view of the entrance. My two friends sat in such a way that they had to twist their neck to the right if they had to get a view of any event at the entrance. Our conversations were loud and interesting. I seemed to be the most quiet because my friends were basically bragging about their charisma, eloquence, confidence and influence around ladies. The hall had other active conversations but our own seemed to drive the pace and regulate others. Soft traditional jazz played in the background and the air-conditioners were oozing cool air. Even though every activity went on uninterrupted, our table was subtly the centre of attraction. From our stories, jokes and arguments, it was obvious that we were at the peak of a nice time.

All of a sudden, my gaze was fixed at the entrance. A beautiful lady had just walked in. My friends followed my gaze and equally got fixed, stirring at the entrance in astonishment. The sudden silence from our table brought all other conversations to an abrupt halt and everybody in the hall seemed to have followed our gaze to the entrance.
The quiet traditional jazz music that had been playing in the background now seemed to be the loudest sound, but this time it oozed such melody that graced the steps of the amazingly beautiful lady that had just walked in.
She had her straight hair arranged in such a way that some portion dangled across her right eye. She had a way of swiftly moving her head to throw her hair into any position she wanted. She was dressed in a beautiful pink mini gown and a fluffy black pair of flat shoes. The egdes of her pink gown were lined with white. She had a bold black belt tied across her belly, a small pink purse in her left hand and a simple black wrist watch on the same hand that held the purse. She had siezed the attention of the entire restraunt as she elegantly walked towards the counter. I wanted to wave my hands to draw her attention towards our table, but the awe that she exuded into the atmosphere did not permit me. She stood at the counter briefly and looked around. Her gaze met with mine and we smiled at each other. She began walking towards me while I stood up. The attention in the entire hall was now fixed on both of us. My friends were stunned and bewildered. The look on their faces were like those of men that had seen a goddess from the sky. I opened my arms as she walked closer and she opened her’s as well. We engaged a long warm hug while the entire world waited for us.
We smiled at each other when the hug was over and I looked towards the only empty seat around our table and signalled her to sit.

My loud friends now seemed dumb and they wondered what charm I had. I called the lady by her name and we began exchanging greetings and pleasantries. It was then that one of my friends spotted the striking ressemblance between me and the lady. “Are you related?”, he asked. Then we began formal introductions. The lady was my only sister and I had given her directions to where we were hanging out, by pinging. With the BB chat, none of my friends had a clue that I was inviting my sister over for a time out with the boys.
Other people gradually settled back to their activities and our table began to bubble again.
How exciting life can be when you put everyone else in suspence!
Neither my friends nor Chin Cherry Restraunt will ever forget how we made them feel that day.

Nnamonu Tochukwu.
A short fictional strory in response to Writing Challenge: the Devil is in the Details
Short Fiction: Our Table and The Entrance

About teeceecounsel

Who am I really? Can that be defined yet? Probably by the time I'm long gone and all the pieces of my activities are compiled and analysed then you can know what you want to know about me. Meanwhile, I write. Not because I love writing but because I love people. I love to care and love to share. I'm a deep thinker and I love to believe in the impossible. The ideal is attainable and a shot at it must be given. Don't say 'It won't work' rather ask 'how will it work? Nobody is ever doomed unless they made the choice. To resist good and to adopt evil is already doom. To loose hope is to choose doom but to believe that every step is a passing phase leading towards your hope is to choose progress. I may go on and on but my posts say it all. I don't force you to agree, I only say enjoy!
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30 Responses to Short Fiction: Our Table and The Entrance

  1. stephrogers says:

    Oh wow. I wish my brothers would write something so beautiful about me!

  2. jejejeee…good one!!! fabulous response to the challenge!! πŸ™‚

  3. Connie T says:

    I like this story.

  4. I could just see the scene! Thanks – you made my day…

  5. Mary Okeke says:

    Very talented and beautifully written. I visualized every situation in slow motion. Your sister should be very grateful.

  6. sophiebowns says:

    Wow! This is so beautifully written! Thanks for the comment on my blog it means a lot ! πŸ™‚

  7. Suzanne says:

    Lovely story. I really liked the line about not being able to get word in because your friends were bragging about themselves so much. Your sister sounds like a real lady too.

    • It’s interesting to know that you picked out those details. I usually lack words when a conversation is all about bragging. And my sister? I’m always proud of her. Thanks for stopping by and spicing up my moment! πŸ™‚

  8. Thanks for linking me to this, I enjoyed reading it πŸ™‚ Good twist there too πŸ™‚ yes it was my first writing challenge so a little out of my comfort zone (could you tell?) but I had fun doing it

    • Your response to the challenge was excellent, it was only your comment at the dailypost that made me know it was your first. I’m glad you enjoyed the read. Thanks for stopping by.

  9. rebekah says:

    Very nicely written … the description of the lady, made me ‘see’ her for my inner vision … and I didn’t see it coming [she being your sister] until the last part! That was good! πŸ™‚

  10. Loved the suspense of the beautiful lady….very well done

  11. mossyc says:

    I really like the imagery of the air condition oozing cool air. I also like the ending. Very well put together.

  12. mightwar says:

    What an entrance and a half! Very few people can make such an impact and you wrote the suspense very well.

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