Have you ever encountered an argument?
Have you been involved in one?
Was it eventually resolved?
Are you looking foward to another?
I would really like to know your view on these even though I’ll tell you mine.
I’ve encountered numerous arguments in my life time and have been involved as well. I once discovered some secrets that always gave me an edge but soon I learnt some more things and put arguments aside.
“Life is full of arguments, there are always points to prove. The way we go about them would often influence much.” -Nnamonu Tochukwu.
Sometimes it’s about belief, sometimes it’s about laws, sometimes it’s on procedures and sometimes it’s of facts.
Arguments are often done with words but that’s not the only way; you may prove points with actions just as you do with words.
The moment I learnt of actions I saw that it mattered more. It’s better to make the money than to argue of knowing how. “Prove your points by succeeding and people will pay for your opinion” -Nnamonu Tochukwu.
By the way this post is about words.
We tend to spend a lot of time and arrive at crossroads,
we crack our heads and strain our voices, yet arrive at nothing.
I experienced one on Saturday and I’ll like to share it with you.
The point of the argument is not my point, the argument is my point.
I happened to accompany some elders to the funeral of their in-law.
They were much older than me, their kids are my age mates.
I was not familiar with their in-laws but I was comfortable with them.
The ceremonies were done and most of the guests had gone.
The Inlaws were the hosts and my companions were close enough to feel at home and discuss, long after other guests were gone.
In the misdt midst of conversations, they went on and on from talk to talk,
yes! Subject to subject and topic to topic, then one thing led to the other and the argument began!
I wouldn’t mention real names but I’ll use descriptive words;
1) Father Elder
2) Mother Elder
3) Uncle Elder
4) Aunty Elder
5) Enthusiastic Aunty Elder
6) Minority Elder
That was my first and only day of meeting Minority Elder, Enthusiastic Aunty and Aunty Elder. I have always been close to Father Elder, Mother Elder and Uncle Elder, infact, we travelled in the same car to the funeral with me on the wheels. Meanwhile, just incase you don’t know, I am Teecee. I was not participating in the conversation but my attention was very much there. If at all I was going to utter a word in the argument it would have been a simple question of one word or slightly more, to give the argument a direction . Well, I didn’t speak up until I was alone with the ones I’m familiar with and that was on our journey back. My speaking up exposed the confusion and after a few more comments our conversation drifted to some other subject.
Remember, the point of this post is not the point of the argument, it rather is the argument itself.
All the listed characters, except for Enthusiastic Aunty Elder, were sitted on plastic chairs positioned within the compound where the ceremony had been conducted. The subjects of conversation had moved from exchanging pleasantries to the nature of the ceremony, then to the journey and to the various ages of characters. I can’t really keep track of all the subjects but then, Enthusiastic Aunty Elder walked in. She had her eyes focused on Minority Elder and her index finger pointing at him. “won’t you change your ways and come to the light” she said. With a smile, Minority elder responded; “you only know the son but I know the father as well as the son, I’ve gone some steps ahead”. With that response the characters got stirred and the argument began!
Enthusiastic Aunty Elder: Stop saying that, you don’t know what you are saying.
Minority Uncle: The journey is still far for you, you have to know the father.
Aunty Elder, that’s a baseless idea. We know the Son and that means we know the Father.
Minority Uncle: They are not the same.
Father Elder: But the Father and the Son are one.
Mother Elder: “He who has seen me has seen the father”, said the Son.
Minority Elder: The Son was human, he was flesh and blood. How can He be the same as the father?
Mother Elder: The son is the word that became flesh. He is not mere flesh; he didn’t spring from flesh.
Father Elder: In the begining was the word, the word was with God and the word was God.
Uncle Elder: True. That’s it.
Minority Elder: they are still seperate entities. “The word was with God” points out that fact and God who is the father cannot share His glory with anyone, not even with the son.
Minority Elder: ofcourse, He will never share His glory with anyone. Why then do you people worship the son? Nobody even refers to the Father’s name these days. Do you know His name?
Mother Elder: “I have exalted my word above my name” that is what the Father said!
Father Elder: The Father, The Son and The Spirit are one. That’s the trinity.
Uncle Elder: Yes, I agree.
Minority Elder: So where did you get that from, there’s nothing like Trinity. What are your sources?
Enthusiastic Aunty: God forbid! How dare you utter such things. Be careful not to grieve the Spirit.
(panic in the air)
Father Elder: You have to be very careful man; the consequences of grieving the Spirit are grievious!
(side comments and mumurs took over the argument and soon we were up to leave.)
As we walked back to the car, Mother Elder said, “this man sounds so convinced about what he is saying, what led him into this?”
“He also seems to have studied a lot yet he hasn’t left that sect!”, Mother Elder added.
“He may have answered all of that himself if only we gave him the chance. Then we would have known how wrong he was or probably how right”. That was what I said.
“what do you mean by give him a chance? We let him speak all he could!” that’s the expression I read from their multiple points.
The confusion set in when I asked:
“So what did he mean when he said you need to know the father?”.
For a moment they were lost then finally Mother Elder spoke, “that’s true, he never made that point but how was it our fault?
With a smile I responded, we would have just asked “How?”
He may probably have said something we knew or something we didn’t know but whether or not his view was right, we never found out.
It’s good to find out what others have in mind before you begin to counteract their opinions. You may just reallize that your views either merge or contradict at some points but there are always things to learn, or equally things to teach.
Sometimes you just listen and sometimes you just speak but in whatever you are doing, ensure that you don’t miss the point.
Why are we often stuck to the things that we are accustomed to;
traditions, practices, beliefs, opinions, habits, etc, so much that we can’t even give a chance to hear the opinions of others?
As far as the person does not belong to our sect or share our ideas, we antagonize them.
A simple question can make you learn more or give you more information.
That question is: “How?”
Some opinions may never be right but we can atleast hear them out.
Have your yardstick of measurement, know what to pick and drop.
See wordpress prompt on argument and conflicts: Daily Prompt: Conflicted