The Argument

INTRODUCTION
Have you ever encountered an argument?
Have you been involved in one?
Was it eventually resolved?
Are you looking foward to another?
I would really like to know your view on these even though I’ll tell you mine.
I’ve encountered numerous arguments in my life time and have been involved as well. I once discovered some secrets that always gave me an edge but soon I learnt some more things and put arguments aside.
“Life is full of arguments, there are always points to prove. The way we go about them would often influence much.” -Nnamonu Tochukwu.
Sometimes it’s about belief, sometimes it’s about laws, sometimes it’s on procedures and sometimes it’s of facts.
Arguments are often done with words but that’s not the only way; you may prove points with actions just as you do with words.
The moment I learnt of actions I saw that it mattered more. It’s better to make the money than to argue of knowing how. “Prove your points by succeeding and people will pay for your opinion” -Nnamonu Tochukwu.
By the way this post is about words.
We tend to spend a lot of time and arrive at crossroads,
we crack our heads and strain our voices, yet arrive at nothing.
I experienced one on Saturday and I’ll like to share it with you.
The point of the argument is not my point, the argument is my point.

THE SCENE
I happened to accompany some elders to the funeral of their in-law.
They were much older than me, their kids are my age mates.
I was not familiar with their in-laws but I was comfortable with them.
The ceremonies were done and most of the guests had gone.
The Inlaws were the hosts and my companions were close enough to feel at home and discuss, long after other guests were gone.
In the misdt midst of conversations, they went on and on from talk to talk,
yes! Subject to subject and topic to topic, then one thing led to the other and the argument began!

THE CHARACTERS
I wouldn’t mention real names but I’ll use descriptive words;
1) Father Elder
2) Mother Elder
3) Uncle Elder
4) Aunty Elder
5) Enthusiastic Aunty Elder
6) Minority Elder
7) Teecee.
That was my first and only day of meeting Minority Elder, Enthusiastic Aunty and Aunty Elder. I have always been close to Father Elder, Mother Elder and Uncle Elder, infact, we travelled in the same car to the funeral with me on the wheels. Meanwhile, just incase you don’t know, I am Teecee. I was not participating in the conversation but my attention was very much there. If at all I was going to utter a word in the argument it would have been a simple question of one word or slightly more, to give the argument a direction . Well, I didn’t speak up until I was alone with the ones I’m familiar with and that was on our journey back. My speaking up exposed the confusion and after a few more comments our conversation drifted to some other subject.

THE ARGUMENT
Remember, the point of this post is not the point of the argument, it rather is the argument itself.
All the listed characters, except for Enthusiastic Aunty Elder, were sitted on plastic chairs positioned within the compound where the ceremony had been conducted. The subjects of conversation had moved from exchanging pleasantries to the nature of the ceremony, then to the journey and to the various ages of characters. I can’t really keep track of all the subjects but then, Enthusiastic Aunty Elder walked in. She had her eyes focused on Minority Elder and her index finger pointing at him. “won’t you change your ways and come to the light” she said. With a smile, Minority elder responded; “you only know the son but I know the father as well as the son, I’ve gone some steps ahead”. With that response the characters got stirred and the argument began!

Enthusiastic Aunty Elder: Stop saying that, you don’t know what you are saying.

Minority Uncle: The journey is still far for you, you have to know the father.

Aunty Elder, that’s a baseless idea. We know the Son and that means we know the Father.

Minority Uncle: They are not the same.

Father Elder: But the Father and the Son are one.

Mother Elder: “He who has seen me has seen the father”, said the Son.

Minority Elder: The Son was human, he was flesh and blood. How can He be the same as the father?

Mother Elder: The son is the word that became flesh. He is not mere flesh; he didn’t spring from flesh.

Father Elder: In the begining was the word, the word was with God and the word was God.

Uncle Elder: True. That’s it.

Minority Elder: they are still seperate entities. “The word was with God” points out that fact and God who is the father cannot share His glory with anyone, not even with the son.

Everyone: What?

Minority Elder: ofcourse, He will never share His glory with anyone. Why then do you people worship the son? Nobody even refers to the Father’s name these days. Do you know His name?

Mother Elder: “I have exalted my word above my name” that is what the Father said!

Father Elder: The Father, The Son and The Spirit are one. That’s the trinity.

Uncle Elder: Yes, I agree.

Minority Elder: So where did you get that from, there’s nothing like Trinity. What are your sources?

Enthusiastic Aunty: God forbid! How dare you utter such things. Be careful not to grieve the Spirit.

(panic in the air)

Father Elder: You have to be very careful man; the consequences of grieving the Spirit are grievious!

(side comments and mumurs took over the argument and soon we were up to leave.)

THE CONFUSION
As we walked back to the car, Mother Elder said, “this man sounds so convinced about what he is saying, what led him into this?”
“He also seems to have studied a lot yet he hasn’t left that sect!”, Mother Elder added.

“He may have answered all of that himself if only we gave him the chance. Then we would have known how wrong he was or probably how right”. That was what I said.

“what do you mean by give him a chance? We let him speak all he could!” that’s the expression I read from their multiple points.

The confusion set in when I asked:
“So what did he mean when he said you need to know the father?”.
For a moment they were lost then finally Mother Elder spoke, “that’s true, he never made that point but how was it our fault?

With a smile I responded, we would have just asked “How?”
He may probably have said something we knew or something we didn’t know but whether or not his view was right, we never found out.

THE POINT
It’s good to find out what others have in mind before you begin to counteract their opinions. You may just reallize that your views either merge or contradict at some points but there are always things to learn, or equally things to teach.
Sometimes you just listen and sometimes you just speak but in whatever you are doing, ensure that you don’t miss the point.

CONCLUSION
Why are we often stuck to the things that we are accustomed to;
traditions, practices, beliefs, opinions, habits, etc, so much that we can’t even give a chance to hear the opinions of others?
As far as the person does not belong to our sect or share our ideas, we antagonize them.
A simple question can make you learn more or give you more information.
That question is: “How?”
Some opinions may never be right but we can atleast hear them out.
Have your yardstick of measurement, know what to pick and drop.

See wordpress prompt on argument and conflicts: Daily Prompt: Conflicted

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About teeceecounsel

Who am I really? Can that be defined yet? Probably by the time I'm long gone and all the pieces of my activities are compiled and analysed then you can know what you want to know about me. Meanwhile, I write. Not because I love writing but because I love people. I love to care and love to share. I'm a deep thinker and I love to believe in the impossible. The ideal is attainable and a shot at it must be given. Don't say 'It won't work' rather ask 'how will it work? Nobody is ever doomed unless they made the choice. To resist good and to adopt evil is already doom. To loose hope is to choose doom but to believe that every step is a passing phase leading towards your hope is to choose progress. I may go on and on but my posts say it all. I don't force you to agree, I only say enjoy!
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28 Responses to The Argument

  1. ARGUMENTS: being in one and backing out of it…identifying how demoralizing and unfair my argument technique was, became my second discovery into how the adsence of my father in my life has formed or de-formed me…we learn to: argue, to defend our view by making a logical point, to accept the other’s view because it makes more sense or to just simply agree to disagree and no hard feelings- at home, in our families, with our parents and siblings, that’s the safest place to learn the skill, that’s where we’ll learn to listen to many different opinions on one same subject because what mother and sister may feel and think may very well differ from what father and brother may feel and think…again, another post that goes to my core (btw, among my zillions of post drafts there’s one that touches this matter, i may just finish and post thanks to your perfectly timed and worded inspration) read you soon! Alexandra

    • Thanks so much for this rich response! It’s stuffed and loaded with points that I just can’t disagree with. Points that are worthy of note.
      Sometimes, arguments really are without either direction or points. People start, deviate and end up miles away from the initial subjects. It’s a time consumer in such cases. We should be sensitive to decipher that.
      Giving room to accept the opinions of others, or to atleast hear them out and consider them is essential for both proper communication and information retrieval or learning. We learn when we listen!
      And that very important point that I must not forget; the home is the best practice and learning ground. We must learn to appreciate and to value the opinions of others, right from the very places we neglect or consider insignificant. Habits start little and little things amount to much in due time. Thanks for once again, you’ve been truly enlightening!

      • just baggage that one (ME) carries unknowingly until something or someone makes you take notice of your unconscious reactions and their longterm effects, that’s when we must trace back in time to the origins in order to make a lasting change in the present…and believe me, I have analized my upbringing to be able to understand myself, accept the good in me and correct the bad with only myself to blame and/or thank for my accions today…btw, I’d be so grateful if you’d give me your opinion on my post for today…I went out on a limb with today’s post, though it is something i have thought alot about..read you soon!!

  2. saymber says:

    So many of the arguments I’ve been in have involved “I’m right” and “your wrong” themes. As I’ve gotten older, I try to go there with what I now called discussions, not arguments lol. The argument you describe is pretty common. Religion is a nasty topic most times because it’s one people get so passionate about…almost brainwashed about. I was one of those people for many years and then I got true to who I am…I am a pagan and fly under no religions banner….I might miss something! It’s ironic when people from even the same religion argue amongst themselves about the particulars of their sect. One thing I’ve had to work on for many years, because I learned to do otherswise, is when a discussion gets heated, not to draw the sword that is my tongue and attack! Very hard for me.

    • Very correct, I’ve often observed arguments where being declared either right or wrong is the objective. Aggression and emotions usually over-shadow reason in such cases.
      Approaching life with open-mindedness and evaluating or proving the facts and theories that we come across is crucial to advancement, development, improvement and growth.
      Left to me, the heart is more important than the traditions, customs and regulations. True condemnation and justification cannot be based on imperfect laws. The heart, the intentions, the things we don’t see often govern the things we either manifest or see.
      Discussion as you may call it requires listening and responding with objectivity. Thanks for sharing your view.

  3. LOL this argument or discussion was a very interesting one indeed TeeCee. I think when it comes to arguments, we have to learn to choose our battles wisely. I also think that in context to bring about to a mutual understanding from the discussion what is revealed is various understandings concerning the truth. People may have different understandings regarding the truth, but the Word remains the same. So it doesn’t matter what is said, as long as people stand by what is true and what is in the Word is true. We can only come to the father through the Son, and if we ignore the Son how are we to come before the Father if the Father said on the day Jesus was baptised that this is my Son in Whom I’m well pleased, do we disregard what the Father says and who acknowledges? And if we don’t accept the Son, how can we accept the Holy Spirit if it was the Son who said he had to go so that He could give us the Helper which is the Holy Spirit. All of the are God and God is in three persons Father, Son and Holy Spirit. To not accept one, is denying the other two. Loved the back and forth debate.

    Stay blessed TeeCee.
    Sherline 😀

    • Thanks much Sherline! The truth is always constant, it never changes. Our understanding of it may differ from person to person and from time to time.
      My Philosophies and a few initial posts of mine had something silmilar to say about truth.
      Objectivity gives room for discovery.
      Thanks again!

  4. Reblogged this on Sherline's Watchu Thinkin' Blog and commented:
    Arguments can help us reach to a mutual understanding or lead us into confusion. At the end of the day it is wise to choose your battles wisely and consider that it is better to listen than to be heard. You discover more information in the flow of a conversation.

    • Thanks for the reblog and the rightly stated points. Smiles! Arguments can lead to confusion and can as well lead to mutual understanding. The beauty of communication is glarring when you can both hear and be heard. A lot of discoveries emerge when we just listen and acknowledge where necessary. God work Sherline, you standout!

  5. orples says:

    Being a peaceful person, I avoid arguements like the seven-year itch … unless the topic is politics, then I can debate all day long. The only reason, I bother then, is because people need to be talking about the fate of our Nations and the World. The corruption behind the scenes needs to be exposed, and if the people don’t shine light on the topic, that corruption will continue to escalate, not that it’s not gotten way out of hand already.

    • Politics is sure a good subject of discussion, especially as it affects the fate of our nations and the world at large. We need visionary people to set things right with both words and actions. Keep saying the right things, we can’t loose hope. Things will definitely turn around positively. I’ll always proove points that are worth proving. I love your stand on politics. Everyone has a unique passion!

      • orples says:

        If it weren’t for Ron Paul and the fact that he is actually a true, (red, white, & blue), Constitutionalists, Patriot, and on the side of the people, I’d have probably given up hope for our Nation’s future. I have him to thank for my speaking up on Politics and sharing his knowledge of both the Constitution and our rights therein, as well as insight into the history of our Nation. Dr. Paul proves the entire lot of our elected leaders are not dirty. In turn, if we can only get the people to listen and look around themselves, our Nation might be saved. We need to all make noise, research the facts, and then light a fire under our local Representatives Nationwide. Honestly, I hate politics with a passion, but the fate of our Nation is way too important to wait for someone else to solve our problems. First, people need to be made aware of what is going on in the shadows. I think JFK illustrated that fact perfectly in the speech he made about 3 months prior to his assassination. We the people, need to stand together and salvage our rights for our heir’s sakes. Our forefathers did no less for us. ;).

  6. Debates and arguments are not the same thing. I don’t cotton to arguments well at all. Growing up in a home where verbal attacks were common they now make my skin crawl. No one cares what the point is, often the point that started the argument is lost. Debates on the other hand I find intellectually stimulating and believe they help people grow. I love a good debate about most things. Giving the other person their due in time to debate the points back is essential to debates. If only one or two persons are getting their points across there is no real debate.

    • Good point there! Debates are enlightening. I always learn a lot as well as derive some joy and excitement each time I encounter a properly moderated debate. An argument on the other hand could have an unfriendly touch to it or some aggresive emotions. Deliberations are more productive when all parties have fair or even chances. Good view, thanks!

  7. so true your point!! i wonder though if the agrument was actually just grief displaced?

    • That’s common with arguments. When passions and emotions stirred from customs, traditions and beliefs are triggered in arguments, such reactions come to play. Those are not productive reactions in my opinion. Thanks for that observation.

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