I titled this piece “Learn from this” when I began to write, while almost done, I thought of, “All I used to be” and it seems to be ending in; “you can also deal with it”.
I still don’t know which fits this best but I really want to share.
I still remember my days as a kid; I was sneered at and jeered for sticking my tongue out. I can’t tell from where I learnt it but I just couldn’t control it. Whenever I was absent minded, my tongue just sticks out itself and who ever sees me first will most likely replicate it, laugh at me and run away before I would pounce on them. It always made me cry and very much shy because I was always sure I will do it again. The bigger I grew, the worse it looked on me and I always told myself, I looked like a big fool.
It probably was it that made me lisp while talking and that added to my problems; speech impediment!
What would you expect from a little boy of four? Up all the way through five and six!
Did I accept my fate or did I work on it? I really can’t tell but I just lived on with it!
We were then in the north and got transfered to the east. We met a whole new world and my problems increased!
The friends I was so used to, were now all left behind! The ones I found in the east just saw me as so queer!
It was then I told myself, “I can’t continue with this”. It was either I controlled my tongue or do away with it but I couldn’t go on each day, facing that much mess!
I grew so shy that when I walk the streets, I bow my head and run, whenever anyone comes by, especially the ladies!
“adapting to change is inevitable, the earlier one gets to do so , the better it is for all”
It was now time to make a choice; to give up or to stand. To become acceptable among both boys and girls!
I focused on my desire and found the right approach to undo my flaws and become my ideal self.
I dealt with it!
I had issues with temper; very bad ones at that! I fought, I cursed and got upset at the stance of any slight. I found a fault in anything people did and when they defend rather than admit, I get upset with them. My aggresion grew, my rebellion began all because my temper was quite bad. Whatever mum may have cried and said or dad decreed and stamped his feet meant nothing when in my rage!
“everyone is wicked” I kept saying to myself, so I justified myself and kept living like I did. At home I was a tyrant but while outside could pretend. I had overcome shyness but anger was my flaw.
By then I had passed eleven and was approaching year fifteen. I knew I had a problem and should solve it or be doomed.
I fought my brothers, beat small kids and flared at all who interfered.
At such pace, I thought to myself, if I didn’t change, I may grow and get to jail.
Nothing physical could really help me, all I tried had failed until I chose to embrace love!
Love treats others well and is not after a payback, it’s calm and not offended, free from bitterness and wrath.
I found out I had stuffed myself with things I said to myself. Some were good and some were bad but some could outrightly destroy!
I began to deal with it.
I freed myself from all of that and thought of new ones to say:
“No body means harm for no just cause and those who do are misguided. All they need is to be taught and they too can learn to make the right choice” -Nnamonu T.
was one of such with much much more like it. I trusted people more, got patient with them and did a lot of things that helped my temper go.
I soon realized that my body worked much better and all it’s headaches were gone.
I used to be so lazy and procastination was my style but I also dealt with it. I placed a previous post right here that could help with this: Don't be stuck in intentions, get beyond!.
I simply wrote this piece so that you can also deal with it!
Author: Nnamonu Tochukwu.
You Can Also Deal With It.