It feels embarrasing some times that friends go out to have a nice time and one of them feels he/she doesn’t match up with the rest.
Obvious shyness or discomfort that is noticeable by observers is already bad enough.
Everybody is unique and should understand that. Some people are always calm while some others may always be in high spirits; excitement.
Either way no one should feel inferior. There are those that enjoy watching others play and those that enjoy doing the playing.
Once I came across a young chap that played the keyboard quite well but he couldn’t muster the courage to play in public whenever there was none of the regular players. He always felt he was being evaluated in everything and by everyone. He also concluded that their evaluations of him were poor. How could he get into the mind of everyone and what on earth could guarantee his accuracy? I, for one, admired a lot about him and so did almost everyother person but I still wonder why he didn’t always see things that way.
Many chances to express oneself or to enjoy certain places, things and experiences are missed due to such feelings of inferiority. Ofcourse there are various degrees and some extremes are completely irrational but like every other obstacle, thereis always a way around it.
Here are a few tips that would help:
1) Convince yourself; tell yourself who you are and believe it. Everybody should understand how best to communicate with themselves in thoughts. Whether visually, kinesthetically or auditory. I don’t intend to start digressing into details of inner communication but to point out that it is possible and necessary to relate with yourself positively. Build up confidence in yourself however best you can. To aid the phychological boost, you could also dress well, eat well, rest well and exercise well to look convincing even to yourself. Take a good look at yourself, have a good feel of yourself and say to yourself: “I’m good!
2)Realize that people are too occupied to watch every move you make. Except you have really caught their attention.
Majority of the people you come across have their own issues to deal with and are busy figuring out how to deal with them. So to assume that the rest of the world are jeering at you while you are walking with your face down may not be totally correct. The only reason such attention could be on you is that you are either a popular star that everybody can recognize or you are already very known with making obbvious blunders and they are expecting another from you. If you are still young and your friends laugh at you, just wave it off and tell yourself “it doesn’t matter” because it really doesn’t. If you are quite mature and still get such expressions from your friends then act like the kid and move on. Assure yourslef further that you are good and worth much more than you always assumed.
3)Impressions change so any blunders can be replaced.
No matter how terrible your flaws have been and how much you have erred, understand that human beings make conclusions on face value. When you consistently put up a good attitude, the bad ones will be forgotten.
Forget about previous first impressions if you didn’t handle them well and work hard on future ones.
4)Be more result oriented than impression oriented.
“it’s better to be relevant than to be liked”
Many people fail to deliver appropriate results because people will say something or think something. That’s not the best approach to life. Always do what you have to do. Do the very things that will give you fulfilment and what you consider worth doing. Make it a practice to face anybody as well as any number of people. The more you come out of your shell, the more accomplishment you’ll make and your accomplishment builds your confidence!
5) Always strike a balance between reality and fantacy.
You are real and live in a real world. Use fantacies to your advantage and not to your disadvantage. Instead of imagining that the world sees you as a rat, choose to imagine that they see you as an elephant or even that you were invisible but be sure to assure yourself that you are the best shot for the task.
There is no hard and fast rule really. Different people have overcome with different approaches and I would like you to share your story. Get determined to overcome too and you will. Make me happy by taking the bull by the horn and making the change permanent.
Reach me by all means because I really want your own discoveries to help other.